After All These Months

I told you. I will be back.

I’ve been gone for soooooo long I think I forget how to write properly. (Hence the many ‘o’s‘)

I’m actually at the office. Work. And just a second WordPress sprang into my mind while I was browsing through Apple App Store in my phone. (Yes, that’s one of the new things about me this year. I finally got an iPhone. As a friend commented, I “gave in to the devil.” So I took this opportunity to steal a few minutes away from actual work and write something insightful of the events that have happened to me this year.

I’m not so sure how long I’ve been gone. But I have decided—nope, dedicated, committed myself into writing again.

You see, one of the factors of the past months (?) of unproductive journalism (If I can even call what I do journalism. Creative non-fiction, perhaps?) is that I’ve been swamped with the realness of that thing we dread most of our lives—day job. Being an artist/writer/actor, etc., being in a routine place, doing routine work is totally incapacitating and dull that it dries up all your creativity without you even noticing it. It’s like your brain just starts to rust, and not even some lubricants will help stop the spread, not unless you get a brain transplant. Not that I’m complaining, my day job provides me sufficient compensation (but probably not equal to the heavy load being tasked upon me most of the times), and it’s the one that helps me survive and continue to do artistic endeavors as much as I can. I’ve been involved in artistic projects since I’ve started work, and there was never a conflict (so far).

First, I acted in a short film, Across the Universe, under our film production company, [unttld] productions. Here’s the link: PART 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9g6j2U1Ops and for PART 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNYAwF-2STU It won Best Editing and 3rd Place Best Short Film for the 7th Cinemagis Film Festival. I was nominated for Best Actor, which was nice. A few months after this, (Cinemagis happened last January, as I can remember) I joined to act on another short film, LUCID, under Cloyd’s Phoenix Films. It won Best Cinematography, and also Best Actress for one of my co-actors, Korr. It was thrilling because it was my first time to portray a Muslim and I have to smoke (um…asthmatic). It was a new challenge for me as an actor, to be honest. Another acting project I joined by February was The Vagina Monologues and A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer. You may ask me, how the hell do you find the time to join all that even with a day job? Well, nothing beats passion and doing what you’re really good, right? Screw the fatigue! As of the moment, I am involved in a production for HIV/AIDS Awareness Campaign for World AIDS Day on December 1. The production is called LIMA (“Five”), in which five monologues about PLHIV will be acted out by actors.

Now you  know why I’ve been away from the writing scene.

Besides that, I’ve also been involving myself these past five months on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for a doze of brain-lubricating activities such as the Boy Zugba Trivia Night (on Tuesday evenings) and the frustrating GEEK WARS at Loretos Grill. This is gonna be a humblebrag but our team Y Khurat! always win (for the Boy Zugba, but for the GEEK WARS, it’s always a close call.) We’ve been defending champions for both trivia nights for three consecutive months already. Teehee. I love my team, seriously.

So, yeah, that’s about it, I guess. The last factor, I’ve decided to just keep it to myself. But it was about me hitting rock bottom. Depression is a bitch. I’m not gonna tell you what about really. Or what contributed to it. But that’s just it. I’ve been depressed for a few months. I don’t want to talk to a therapist. Right now, I’m feeling all right. Will power is one’s greatest asset in beating depression. Slow but sure. I guess writing will be my therapy. It has always been. And with all the questions forming in my head, I think writing about it will give me answers that I’ve been looking for.

I’m ready for my therapy. 😉

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~ by bipolarthespian13 on November 9, 2015.

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